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Five tips to help you boost your emotional intelligence
- Recognize and acknowledge your emotions. Emotional intelligence is based on fully comprehending your own emotions and using them to guide your thoughts and actions, as well as your responses to the behavior of others. Check in with yourself regularly to examine what you're feeling -- and, just as importantly, why.
- Use emotionally literate language. Learn to label your feelings, rather than labeling people or situations. For example, instead of saying, "That's stupid," say, "I don't agree." Or rather than tell someone, "You're a jerk," say, "You really hurt me."
- Understand how behavior is linked to emotions. Thoughts create emotions, emotions create behavior and behavior creates results. Being aware of what emotions are driving your behavior gives you a significant psychological edge. Avoid making decisions when your emotions are inflamed, but, at the same time, take into consideration what your intuition tells you.
- Show respect, empathy, and understanding for other people. The success of your personal relationships hinges on your ability to empathize and to show sensitivity toward others. Don't try to command, control, criticize, judge or lecture. Instead, commit to becoming a better listener and to giving people the feedback they need.
- Avoid or set boundaries with people who invalidate you. People who are hurting often try to invalidate others in an attempt to normalize their own feelings about themselves. While it's not always possible to avoid such people, do your best to steer clear of them. If you can't, draw clearly defined boundaries and don't permit them to have psychological power over you.
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